So, you’ve just received the news: you have an ADHD brain!
Likely up to this point you have been scared shitless that you would be told that you didn’t have ADHD, and that you’d be left thinking there was something seriously ‘wrong’ with you. This is a super common concern for those in the gaunTlet that can be the diagnosis process, and the good news is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
So you have ADHD…..what now?
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Let’s just talk for a moment about what this diagnosis could mean for you, and how you might navigate this new (and frankly a tad chaotic) chapter of your life. There will be time spent looking back and thinking “if only I’d known” and making sense of your past behaviours, decisions and experiences through the lens of this new information, it can be griefy and overwhelming this part….BUT then looking forward to the future armed with some deeper knowledge about how your brain works can be exciting. You have choices.
First off, let’s make sure this old saying lands: “PILLS (or no pills depending on what path you have chosen) DO NOT MAKE SKILLS”. Really what this means is that unless you understand what ADHD is and the ways it can trip you up, you may not fully get your head around its impact, nor may you feel strong enough to willingly grab it by the proverbial horns and (kindly) make it work for you. You get the diagnosis from the doc, but its often left up to the individual to follow the white rabbit down the neurodivergent hole of information.
As Kylie Minogue wisely advised us, it is indeed ‘Better the devil you know’. Maybe you have a script for meds, maybe you want to manage it the natural way, and whatever you have chosen is cool, but what does it actually mean to be neurodivergent?
Step 1:
Getting educated about what ADHD actually is and how it can rear its ugly head is crucial. Learn about the Executive Functions, and the parts of the brain that can be impaired by ADHD. You don’t have to become well versed in neuropsychology (unless your hyperfocus drags you into that particular research hole) just getting a basic understanding of what brain functions might not work as well is probably going to be helpful. Go easy my ADHD friend, we tend to take things to extremes, and the internet can be a wild west of misinformation. Start on this old faithful here: ADDitude Magazine for well researched and easy to comprehend info.
Understanding your brain is the first step to navigating the unpredictability that comes with it—after all, you can’t tackle what you can’t identify (and I repeat the Kylie reference above).
Step 2:
Now after some education, you can get clear about how your unique ADHD strengths and weaknesses manifest! Everyone’s expression is going to be different and influenced by genetics, environment, culture and many other biopsychosocial factors. Learning how your ADHD gets in your way and how to work WITH it (rather than against it) is going to be a game changer. ADHD can lead to difficulties with attention, impulsiveness, and hyperactivity (just to name a few) across relationships, work, and pretty much all domains of this thing called life (Prince fans, spin it), which can turn even the simplest tasks into Herculean challenges eg: why is it so hard to respond to that one email??? You will find out when you learn about executive dysfunction.
But I promise things can only get better (Professor Brian Cox was the keyboard player in D:REAM and my god, that fact still blows my mind) when you learn and know more. Some smart chap said “knowledge is power” if my rubbish memory serves me correctly. And that smart chap was right.
Let’s not sugarcoat this: ADHD can often feel like a you’re a one legged man in an arse kicking tournament (anyone who is not Australian, please don’t be alarmed, this is kinda how we speak). Individuals with ADHD face a significantly higher risk of developing anxiety and depression—about three times more likely, in fact (Kessler et al., 2006). Without the right strategies, it can seem like you’re wading through treacle while trying to do basic tasks like hold down a job, be a friend / partner / parent, manage to remember to take your damn clothes out of the dryer (you know exactly what I am talking about) and make time to enjoy life without being in a constant state of stress, overwhelm and hyper-vigilance. But don’t fret my friend, acceptance is half the battle—you are not alone (MJ fans you can revisit that, let’s be honest, not so great song here) in this mad house; plenty of others are out there, just as bewildered.
So, what can you do next?
Educate yourself through podcasts, here is a list I have curated especially for the new neurodivergents in town, you can find it on Spotify here.
You like Instagram? Here are some educators.
Consider reading/listening to some books on the topic, below is a photo of some of my favs, but here are some bangers:
“Unmasked” by Ellie Middleton
“ADHD 2.0” by Edward M. Hallowell, MD and John J. Ratey, MD
“Self-Care for People with ADHD” by Sasha Hamdani, MD
“Divergent Mind” by Jenara Nerenberg
“The Year I Met My Brain: A travel companion for adults who have just found out they have ADHD” by Matilda Boseley
“Your Brain’s Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD” by Tamara Rosier PhD
“Taking Charge of Adult ADHD: Proven Strategies to Succeed at Work, at Home, and in Relationships” by Russell A. Barkley PhD
“We're All Neurodiverse: How to Build a Neurodiversity-Affirming Future and Challenge Neuronormativity” by Sonny Jane Wise (aka The Lived Experience Educator)
“Unmasking Autism: The Power of Embracing Our Hidden Neurodiversity” by Devon Price
Consider ADHD counselling and neurodiversity training for yourself or for your workplace, educating the close people in your life about how your (and theirs) brain works is going to be helpful. Know that there are resources and professionals available who can help you find your footing amid the new diagnosis chaos. Finding the right support can make navigating life with ADHD feel a little less like being on a ship with many holes in the bottom.
As you can see, they have been dog-eared and post-it-noted (ignore the yoga ones unless you are into that too!)
Through the process of looking back and reframing the unhelpful stories from your (unknowingly unsupported) past, with tools to move forward in a way that works for you, is incredibly freeing. I highly recommend it.
If I can help you through this then you know where to find me…Actually, you know what they say about those who ‘assume’, so actually you can find me here.
Alright, onwards we go my neurodivergent beauties!
Caz x
References
Kessler, R. C., Adler, L., Barkley, R., Biederman, J., Conners, C. K., Demler, O., ... & Zaslavsky, A. M. (2006). The Adult ADHD Clinical Research Network: A 3-Year Study of Adults with ADHD. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 67(12), 1944-1953. doi:10.4088/JCP.v67n1205
Polanczyk, G., de Lima, M. S., Hwang, I., Oliveira, A., Yoshimasu, K., & Kato, M. (2015). Annual Research Review: A meta-analysis of the worldwide prevalence of mental disorders in children and adolescents. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 56(3), 345-365. doi:10.1111/jcpp.12381
Sibley, M. H., Pelham, W. E., Kaizar, E. E., Langberg, J. M., & Datu, N. S. (2016). The role of parental functional impairment in the association between ADHD and the use of mental health resources. Journal of Attention Disorders, 20(3), 227-236. doi:10.1177/1087054712459421